Respect! by Ron Andersen's mother

A salute to all of you. I am the mother of Ron Andersen. My son is a very nice boy, but sometimes he can make me furious. In fact, every time when there is something simple to do he says, "This is so easy that even my Danish mother also would have done so!" This is a little ungrateful because he forgets that it was I who taught him how to play bridge!

Still, he is quite amusing in his Bridge Rama show, with the help of the Dane with his Chinese voice (Peter Lund) and the Britisher who looks like he stepped out of a Disney cartoon (Barry Rigal). Surely, they are also human beings, they are not perfect, and from time to time they get distracted, for instance:

E/W Vul. Dealer East.

                           S  87432
                           H  Q42
                           D  J62
                           C  92
                 S  A9                 S  QT5
                 H  AT98               H  J
                 D  A843               D  K75
                 C  T54                C  AKJ876
                           S  KJ6
                           H  K7653
                           D  QT9
                           C  Q3

This board had only just appeared on the screen when all three commentators, as if it was an Olympic 100 meters final, began to look at the most likely contract and the possible outcome. The "Chinese" said at a certain moment, "What do you think of 6C?"

"No, impossible," was my nice son's reply about a perfectly normal contract.

"Maybe if West is the declarer," said the cartoon-man, but I have found out that he always says that to get more time
to think.  But I said to myself, as someone who only knows about finesses and breaks, I would make the contract easily
on any lead.

Suppose they lead a diamond. I win it in hand, play two rounds of trumps (eight ever, nine never, isn't it?) and I lead the HJ to the Ace. I continue with the H10 and will throw a diamond if they do not cover.  With the diamonds 3-3 (I do not know the percentages, that's my son's department), I will make the contract as the thirteenth diamond gets established to get rid of the second spade loser.

They are nice boys, but now I begin to understand why my son so often says, "We have the microphones in our hands and not the cards."

Well, what do you think? Not bad for an old-fashioned lady who does not know anything about squeezes!  That is it for
the time being.  We'll meet again very soon.

Editorial Note:  Currently in the U.S.A. there is a joke on late night TV.  Talk show host, David Letterman, sends his mother around the world to report on various things. She is only known as David Letterman's mother.