DUTCHIE... A COW AND HER QUEST FOR MORTY (HER MOOSE HUSBAND)

30-3-2001: Dutchie asked me (red) to let you all know that everything's fine. She has just arrived at Marn's place and she's so happy. There he was, her Mortimer... Don't they look like a perfect match???

Mortimer and Dutchie...

So for me, my job is finished. We didn't won the competition but after all that wasn't the main issue. I'm glad for Dutchie and Mortimer that everything went perfect and i wish them all the best in the future. May there be lots of little moosecows...

-- THE END --

Check Marn's diary for future updates on Mortimer and Dutchie

5-3-2001: We're finished.

It's sad but true, team Newkirk has won the competition and there was nothing we could do about it. They crushed us by 540 units.

So this means that...???

Yes, I will be heading to the land of the Canadians and start myself a new life together with Morty. It's a happy ending after all. Yuck...i hate happy ending stories. Well i hate them as long as they don't concern my own life.

The truth is that i just can't wait to go, i'm so excited. Red is getting all my papers ready and i just started packing.

As far as i can see i will be leaving on the 14th of this month. I need some time to say goodbye to my dear friends and familly, i hope i can do without them. Red was talking about a goodbye party, i hope he doesn't do any crazy things.

Though we are crushed by the Canadians, team Betronic Design wants to congratulate team New Kirk with their victory. And especially Marn who started the whole thing. She's a fun person (with a little too much spare time though :). Marn thanks...

And of course thanks to all the Betronic Design team members that helped us. Next time i expect you to be more dedicated, and get some faster computers you stupid b*st... :)

No just kidding, thanks to all!!!

(more updates will follow during the next days...)

Me and Red...

Hi,

I'm Dutchie, a little Dutch cow.

it's me, Dutchie...

My boss and friend, Red Moose, created this page for me to help me find back my dear friend, pal and husband, Mortimer.
Mortimer is a moose, and a very good looking one too, my dear when i see him in his mountie suit he really turns me on. muuuh...

isn't he cute, my sweet Morty...

Well, Mortimer is actually Canadian but he moved to Holland after we had met during the summer holidays. He told me he had enough of the Canadians and their prejudice against everything that is Dutch.

It all happened a few weeks ago when Mortimer and I were on our honeymoon to the Caribbean island St. Maarten. We had so much fun and the sun gave us both a really dark tan. Though being a cow i have to be carefull not to burn my white spots.

One day Mortimer and i walked around the island to see some birds. Mortimer loves to watch birds for hours, he looks so silly with his gigantic pair of binoculars. After he had seen enough birds we walked on. I was getting a bit hungry so Mortimer suggested to look for some grass. The grass on the hills seemed to be perfect, all green and juicy. Mortimer wasn't sure about this. It was like he could smell something was wrong. He didn't wanted to go up the hills but i told him to stop being such a nag, so up the hills we went.

If i could turn back time i wish i had listened to Mortimer. Suddenly a group of humans were standing infront of us. I was so scared and looked at Morty. The expression on his face told me something bad was going to happen. With fear in my voice i asked: "Morty, what's wrong?". I had seen humans before but these species didn't look like they were very friendly. Morty answered: "They are Canadians dear". Oh my god, no...Canadian humans. "corrupt Canadian mountie humans", Morty added. We were on a Caribbean island, how was this possible???

One of the reasons Mortimer had moved to Holland was because of the new Canadian law against interracial marriages between Canadian mooses and a Dutch cows.

It was Mortimers sexy mountie suit that had betrayed him. Within seconds the Canadians took Mortimer away from me. I felt so helpless, what could i do. I heard Mortimer scream... "SETI !!!!!!" but I didn't had a clue what he was talking about. I didn't knew what to do. I just wanted my Morty!

me catching a moose, i love them

There i was, alone and without a trace of my sweet husband. Can you imagine the horror i had gone through? I went to the police but the only thing they did was laugh at me when i told them my story. There was nothing left for me to do than to go back to Holland and ask my friends to help me get Morty back.

Back in Holland i told the whole story to my dear friend and boss, Red Moose. Although you would think he's Canadian or Swedish, he actually is Dutch. As I came to the part in where Morty screamed "SETI", he jumped off his chair and headed to the computer. I asked wassup Red? He told me he heared about a project called seti@home. It's some project that humans use to search for extraterrestrial intelligence, whatever that may be.

Red told me that he thinks Mortimer will probably try to send some signal into space. This signal will be detected by the seti@home project so we can locate the exact position of where Mortimer is being held. Oh my gosh....My Morty, he's so smart.

A few days ago, Red came up with some really great news. "I found Mortimer !!!!!" he shouted. I was so exited. Red showed me how he found Mortimer using SETI and the internet. There he was, my love, my Morty. He's still alive. All i could do was cry...

oh my dear, Morty is on TV

Then Red came with the bad news.... "we can get him back Dutchie, but we need help. They want to trade Mortimer for all our seti@home results". "So, what are you waiting for Red, give them all, i don't care". "It's not that easy Dutchie, they want all the Dutch seti@home results". That's when all my hope faded away. This is impossible. Or maybe not?

As a sweet little cow i ask everyone to help me get my Morty back to Holland. Anyone with a heart, please join the Betronic Design Team and give those bad Canadians and their Team New Kirk what they are demanding so i can finally be together again with my Morty.

And as if there isn't enough dishonesty, there is another b-side to all this. If we don't succeed in getting enough seti results on the 1st of March, Red has to sent me to the land of the Canadians. Imagine me between all those cow hating Canadians. I don't think i would survive a day. So please, please help me...

Dutchie...