Her Family

Melissa Etheridge was born on the 29th of May 1961 in Leavenworth, Kansas. She lived there till she was 18 years old. Her father was a basketball coach at a highschool, and her mother worked at an army base. Her sister named Jennifer is exactly 4 years older than Melissa. They are both born on the 29th of May. So on the day Jennifer turned 4, she was kind of lonely, because no one was there to give her presents. Jennifer saw Melissa as the cause of that. Jennifer hit and abused Melissa for years. When Melissa was like 12 years old, it stopped. At home they would never talk about things that were bothering them, not Melissa and Jennifer, nor their parents. They thought that if they would just hide it away and stop thinking about it, it would all go away. Jennifer is now estranged from Melissa.

Songwriting when she was young

Before most children learned to read and write, Melissa knew what she wanted to become: a famous rocksinger. When she was 8 years old, her father gave her her first guitar: A Harmony Stella six string. The first man to teach Melissa how to play that guitar was Don Raymond, a local Jazz singer there. Melissa started writing songs when she was 10 years old. In order to find a way to deal with things (at home they wouldn’t talk about feelings and things that were bothering them), Melissa started writing songs. She used to do that in her basement at home. She felt sheltered there. Melissa composed her first song when she was 10 years old. It’s called ‘Don’t Let It Fly Away. Melissa wanted to become a singer to fill a space inside of her. Melissa was a little girl looking for acceptance, and she figured that being loved by thousands of people would fill up that emptiness inside of her. When she was young music was already a big issue in Melissa life. She used to watch every tv-show about music, like ‘The David Letterman Show’. And after she’d seen a show she would gather all the neighbourhood kids together, get all the pots and pans out, and play the songs. Melissa used to do shows with two of her friends when she was younger. She played the prisons with them. When she was 13, Melissa also started playing with local bands such as ‘The Showmen’.

Exploring her sexuality

When Melissa was young, she found out there was something different about her. She never learned how to dress and look girly, like her sister did, and no one ever taught her. And when her friends where talking about whether they would take this, or that guy to the prom, Melissa wondered why it never came to their minds to take her. Cause she really LIKED her friends. She has had crushes on several girls. The first crush she had on a girl that she went on a summer camp with. But at the time she didn’t know what to think of it, whether it was a crush or not. When she was 17, she kissed her first girl. In her autobiographic book, she calls that girl Jane, but that’s not her real name. She kissed Jane on her 17th birthday. She and Jane were called ‘the Lezzies’ in highschool, but at the time they thought that was just the name for people that didn’t really fit in. Melissa and Jane used to spend a lot of time together, and according to her father it was close to the obsessive. But Jane sometimes was abusive too, just like Jennifer. When Melissa would talk to another woman, when going out or something, Jane would get really mad at her and hit her.

 Boston

When Melissa was 18 years old she went to Boston to got to the Berklee College of Music there. A couple of days after her 18th birthday, she left Leavenworth to make her dreams come true. Her parents went with her to Boston to help her settle down and then left. She shared a room with her roommate. Her roommate was a lesbian too. But when Melissa came to Boston, she was kind of new to it all, and so was her roommate. At school things weren’t really working for Melissa. All she did there was talk about music. And she didn’t want to talk about music, she wanted to do it. Play it. But that wasn’t going to happen there, so she quit. She has lived together for sometime with Jane in Boston. One day Jane called her and asked her whether it was ok to look her up. Melissa would sneak Jane into the apartment she had with that roommate, cause only students were allowed there. But when Melissa quit school, she wasn’t a student anymore either, and she had to move out. She and Jane where looking for an apartment to move into together. And of course, to afford all that, they had to get jobs. Melissa went to town and asked at every single restaurant whether they had live music. Melissa has had a couple of jobs there. But Melissa couldn’t handle Jane’s jealousy. She started hitting Melissa on a regular base. Then one day Jane said that things weren’t working and that she was going back to Kansas. Melissa didn’t stop her. Some time after Jane left, Melissa also went back to Kansas, cause she knew that things weren’t going to happen for her in Boston.

LA

When Melissa got back to Leavenworth, she looked at it from a different point of view. She realised that she wasn’t the only gay person there. She stayed in Leavenworth till she was 21 years old. She then headed to Los Angeles to make her dream of being a famous rockstar come true. Before she left, she came out to her father.

A few days after her 21st birthday, he packed everything she owned, put it in her car, and drove to Los Angeles. She found an apartment, and settled down, and then immediately started looking for a job as a singer in a bar. She got turned down a few times, but eventually she found a job. She sang in women’s bars all over Los Angeles for 5 years. She also sang on the West Coast Women’s Music Festival. She met her former girlfriend there. Her name was Kathleen, and she worked at the festival. She is what inspired Melissa for songs such as ‘Like The Way I Do’ and ‘Bring Me Some Water’. Those are songs about being betrayed by a lover. Melissa was looking for a real one-on-one relationship with a woman, to settle down with her, and live happily ever after. Just like in the movies she used to watch when she was younger. But that wasn’t going to happen with Kathleen, cause she wasn’t looking for a one-on-one relationship. She used to fight for the gay rights all over the United States, and she would have several affairs with other women. They stayed together for 5 years. Melissa was still playing in the bars at that point. Trying hard to break through, things weren’t looking really good. She had several ‘fans’ who would come to see her in the bars, but none of them could make a difference for her. She started sending out demo tapes to all record labels, but none of them ever responded. But then one night when she was playing in a bar, Chris Blackwell (the founder of Island Records) was there, and pulled her aside after the show. At that time, she didn’t know who he was, and when he told her he was the founder of Island Records, Melissa wasn’t really impressed, because she knew by then that things never went the way you wanted them to in music land. But he was willing to sign her to his label, but it would take a few months to get everything settled. That was fine with Melissa, cause she, Kathleen, and two of their friends where planning a tour through California. They called every women’s bar, and asked whether they could come play for 50 bucks a show. That tour was Melissa’s inspiration for the song ‘You Can Sleep While I Drive’. When she went back to Kansas, the contract from Island Records was there waiting for her to be signed. Things were finally coming true. Melissa went to the studio to record her songs. The producer of the album had all kinds of instruments there, to make the songs sound good. Melissa was so happy that she was finally in the recording studio, that she was to proud to admit that all her music needed were drums and guitars. Then when the album was finished, she met Chris again, and let him hear what the album sounded like. “I don’t like it.” he said. Melissa was shocked. Did this mean that it was the end? Chris Blackwell said, that he signed that girl he saw playing that night at the bar to his label, and not this girl on the cd. But luckily, he gave Melissa a second chance. And she didn’t blow that one. Chris liked every song on that album except ‘Like The Way I Do’. But that was Melissa’s favourite song, and she wanted it to be on the album. This became one of the biggest hits she’s ever had.

Death of father

While Melissa was recording her third album called ‘Never Enough’ her father died. He suffered from cancer. When she heard about her father being sick, she told him to come over to Los Angeles to get the best medical care possible, and to try to make him survive this. The weeks before he died, according to Melissa he was an annoying and irritating guy, that said everything that came to his mind. So unlike he was in the days when Melissa was still little and they used to hide everything that was bothering them away. Melissa was there when her father died. Before he did, she told him that he could go and that she would take care of everything, that she would take care of Jennifer. After she made that promise to him, he died. Melissa dedicated her album ‘Never Enough’ to him.

Melissa came out to the public at ‘The Triangle Ball’ in 1992.

Julie Cypher

Julie Cypher was the director for Melissa’s videoclip for ‘Bring Me Some Water’. She was attracted to her right the first time she saw her. But at the time Julie was married, she had a husband. But Julie was falling in love with Melissa too, they kissed, and Julie had to go home, and tell her husband that she was leaving him for another woman. Melissa and Julie have been together for 12 years. They split up one year ago. They have 2 kids together, and the biological father of those kids is David Crosby, a member of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. The kids are called Bailey and Beckett. They still take care of the kids together. After their 12 years of marriage, Julie told Melissa that she just wasn’t gay. Melissa knew that Julie was the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Their relationship was a great inspiration for Melissa’s songwriting.

Scarecrow

Melissa was very shocked when she heard about Mathew Shepard. Mathew was a young gay man that was kicked to death because he was gay. This happened in Wyoming. On the ‘Breakdown’ album, Melissa put a song that she dedicates to him and his loved ones. It’s called ‘Scarecrow’. She called it that, because the man who found Mathew Shepard thought it was a scarecrow that was hanging from a fence.

Lucky Melissa

Melissa recently released her 8th album called 'Lucky', and I say it's great. You can tell when you hear the songs just how happy and lucky she is now that she has Tammy Lynn Michaels as her wife! But hey, love always gets to make us feel lucky there, doesn't it? What I always hear in Melissa's albums is that they all have their own sound... And this album also has it. Listening to it makes me feel happy and lucky too with the things I have. Cause if you pick the Breakdown album you can hear that Melissa wasn't really happy and stuff and her divorce with Julie were hard on her, you just hear that. And than if you take the Skin album you cam hear that she is doing better and that she'll get there eventually. And with Lucky she just comes back hard and happy. I see kind of a journey in the last 3 albums. (They all do have great songs on them, don't get me wrong). I'm glad that Melissa is lucky now, and I want to congratulate her on her new outstanding album!

(Source: The Truth is… My Life in Love and Music.)