From: exile49@aol.com (Exile49)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: Tails From the Backside
Date: 1 May 1997 12:35:07 GMT
Message-ID: <19970501123500.IAA27297@ladder01.news.aol.com>

   From the Co$ magazine "Advance!", #130, pgs.22-23, under the heading of
"OT Phenomena."

   The best story concerns time travel. A certain contributor listed as
"C.C." gets saved from becoming road kill by "Special OT abilities." . .
.Huh?
   That's right, time travel saved someones life. According to the story
some poor sap wasn't watching where he was going and bumbled into the
street directly into the path of, "A huge truck."  Without batting an eye
this mental powerhouse saved his/her life by the simple but effective
means of manipulating time.
   ". . . truck was about to hit. I made the decision instantly to turn
back time."  Shortly thereafter this time traveler was ". . . standing by
the door I'd left not 10 seconds before-completely unscathed." Needless to
say the author reports being "Very pleased" with his/her new and superior
OT abilities. 
   Shucks, who wouldn't be pleased? 

Another tail out of somebody's backside:

   "l.R." says that a grandchild was upset frequently and that there had
been strange goings on in the new house that they resided in. Using the OT
abilities that had saved our other contributors ass "l.R." casts a mental
net to find that a thetan was homesteading on the premises and didn't like
sharing his digs with the new people. This was solved when the writer
simply contacted the squatter and explained "... he needed a new body."
This was news to the thetan no doubt. However, upon being directed to ". .
. a few local hospitals to choose from." the tennant vacated the house
"Never to return."
   I find the idea of a thetan hanging around a hospital rather ghoulish.
None the less the superior powers of OT training came through when it
counted.

   There are other such stories recounted in this triumph of literature.
The simularities in style lead me to conclude that this flatulence came
out of the same anus.
   When I read these to my co-workers they could not believe, at first,
that anyone anywhere could believe such crap. When it dawned on them that
yes, there are people that stupid, not far away either, they howled with
laughter.

  Time for me to time travel into bed.

   Exile49 (Ansel Hook)