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Page Last Updated: Friday, May 31, 2002 01:41 AM

<.....and I really, really hope to see her [Kat] again.>

That was how "Blinddates CAN be fun..." ended.

Recent dating-adventures continued:

So far I've gone to the movies 178 times this year. I'm ashamed to admit I've actually spend money to see some films on the big screen (Dude, Where's My Car?, Scary Movie 2). I saw classic films in the Filmmuseum, films that will not be released and very few people have seen at filmfestivals, I attended the weekly sneak preview (surprise viewing) quite often, there were films I HAD to see for my (film)studies. I had FREE tickets for avant-premieres which I had WON, an official (dress code: BLACK TIE) premiere...,

<--Free all-you-can-eat Ben & Jerry at the Captain Corelli's Mandolin Premiere attended by director John "Shakespeare in Love" Madden

I had an official PRESS CARD for the Film by the Sea Filmfestival, enabling me to see many films for free and,...

I saw popular films from the USA, Spain, Italy and Germany, but also from the Netherlands, Uruguay, Taiwan, Canada, Iran, Japan, Korea, Thailand, China, Mexico, Austria, Australia, Sweden, Denmark, Hong Kong, France, Russia, Argentina, India, etc. etc.

Some classic films from the 50-60s, silent films from the 20s, black and white, (computer) animated, recent films of the 80-90s I hadn't seen on the big screen before, re-issues, special editions and director's cuts, and awardwinning films...

..and I saw all of those films: either accompanied with my friend Philip, with other friends, on a date with Julia, with my mom, on the blinddates with Kat and Yummie, or simply all ALONE by myself, because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to come along.

Of all the films that were made in 2000-2001, I have a few favorites (Time Code, Battle Royale, Requiem for a Dream, Memento and Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain) I saw that last one "Amelie" for short, last week on the blinddate with Yummie.

Although, I'm trying very hard to forget all about Miss Psycho Bitch, the fact remains she was there with me, when I saw one of the best films of the year. Amelie by crazy and wonderful French director

Jean-Pierre Jeunet-->

(The City of Lost Children, Delicatessen, Alien 4: Resurrection)

After our blinddate (Saturday 01 September), I took a bit of a risk.

I E-mailed Kat the "Blinddates CAN be fun..." E-mail (Monday 03 September) un-edited,

to provoke a response. She could clearly conclude, I liked her -maybe even a little bit too much-

for just a first date. She could also read what I liked about her and of the other blinddate with Yummie.

It was risky, since I seemed a bit obsessive, (read: desperate) and crazy myself, for writing such a thing.

I only did it, to get a (forced) response to find out what she thought of me. I sent her the E-mail late monday-night:

I got the reply I wanted, early tuesday morning.

She sent me a text-message to my phone quote: "I'm going to feed the ducks in the canal today. You can come along if you don't think it's boring. Call me if you're interested."

OF COURSE I WAS interested!! (At this point, you kind of forget there also is a "play hard to get" strategy many people recommend using) So I called her. I had only slept a few hours, but the adrenaline got me right awake. (As if I was planning a trip to Disneyland)

In fact when my phone made the weird BEEBING noise, telling me I had a text message, I was about to kill anyone that had awakened me, but as I walked towards my phone all I could also think of was "please, please let it be Kat.."

After writing that massive E-mail, she was constantly on my mind. It was almost dream-like when I saw the message was from her.

13:30 meeting at Leidsesquare, drinking / eating at Haagen-Dazs, 14:00 tram to Okura hotel, 14:15 feeding ducks at nearby canal, 15:00 rain --> hiding / shopping in Okura hotel, 15:30 visiting Sotheby's, 16:00 late-lunch / sandwiches in the city. 17:00 she left by tram / I had a meeting with Philip.

When I met Kat at Leidsesquare she had cute reading-glasses on and was reading:

Why men don't listen and women can't read maps

(A similar book as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

The book teaches you:

-Why men can't do more than one thing at a time

-Why women make such a mess of reverse parallel parking

-Why men are deaf when reading newspapers

-Why men should never lie to a women

-Why women talk so much and men so little

-Why men love erotic images and women aren't impressed

-Why men offer solutions but hate advise

-Why men want sex and women need love

(and many many other things)

The fun thing is, it talks about actual scientific theories/research to explain everything.

(A lot of Freud, but also a lot or recent discoveries in the difference of the male/female mind and body)

Of course, it uses fun, idiotic examples to explain everything as easy as possible.

-Under pressure, men drink alcohol and invade other countries; women eat chocolate and go shopping.

-Men can never find a pair of socks, but their CDs are in alphabetical order. Women can always find the missing set of car keys but rarely the most direct route to their destination.

-Men are amazed at how a woman can't see a red flashing oil light on the car dashboard but can spot a dirty sock in a dark corner 20 feet away.

-Men and women evolved differently because they had to. Men hunted, women gathered. Men protected, women nurtured. As a result, their bodies and brains evolved in completely different ways.

Click HERE to read the first chapter of Why Men Don't Listen : And Women Can't Read Maps : How We're Different and What to Do About It

<-- Yep, that's me writing this E-mail

In the Haagen-Dazs ice-cream restaurant, the first thing she did was tell me to close my eyes and hold out my hand.

While I first expected she was going to read the palm of my hand, she pulled off a rather clever trick.

She put Fl 1.45 of change in it: since I had paid for something saturday and she knew I wasn't going to accept the money, if she would try to give it to me in a normal way.

Kat looked fashion-wise, as if there was a major change in season. With her glasses, different handbag, coat, shirt, earrings, watch, shoes, jeans and her hair differently (everything different as before) it confirmed my initial thought she really IS a fashion-victim. (She told me later she can easily open a dozen boutiques with the amount of clothes she has)

At this point, I didn't know if she had read the "Blinddates CAN be fun..." E-mail. We talked on ICQ the night before, but there was no indication it was the actual E-mail that made her decide to invite me for the follow-up date.

Therefore, I was a bit shocked when she pulled out a computer-print-out of the E-mail (in colour) - 8 pages - WITH COMMENT AND NOTES IN IT in passages she didn't agree with. At the bottom she had MARKED and graded the E-mail as if it was a schoolpaper -essay- (I got a B+ !!) :>)

We briefly talked about and discussed the content of the E-mail. She told me why she doesn't like it when people look directly at her in her eyes and some of the other issues I had mentioned in the mail.

Feeding ducks was a somewhat new experience for me. I had done it a million times when I was little, but never like this.

Sitting next to her on a parkbench, throwing small pieces of bread (I had especially bought bread at a bakery, since I didn't have any old bread at my house!) in the water. Looking at the ducks (and the pigeons that were also fascinated by our actions), but mostly trying to look at her.

She was beautiful as she was having so much fun, helping these creatures, she saw as her friends.

"They love me!?", she shouted. "Where would they be without me?" "I'm just like their momma."

When she wasn't feeding the ducks, the was crushing old cookies (by jumping up and down on them) so the pigeons and other birds could be fed too. There was something sweet and romantic about the whole situation.

Especially when it started to rain and I sat next to her holding her umbrella, trying to keep us both dry, as she continued to feed the ducks.

This was a place she came to every month to think. Often in times of a minor depression we all know when we feel down.

I was invited to share this monthly, special, ritual with her. I couldn't explain why she picked me. Was it a test?

"Call me if you're interested," her text-message said. Is this a TEST? It would be a genius test to find out if I'm really interested and am willing to feed the ducks for hours in the cold, just to be near her.

Whether it was because I saw Kat being so happy what reflected on me, or because I actually enjoyed doing this spontaneous, good and noble deed, I don't know. I do know, I never imaged I could have so fun much feeding ducks..

I never had so much fun in my life. I felt genuinely happy. I know Kat attributed to that for a great deal with her presence.

I wished other people could have seen me that happy too. I wanted to take a picture to capture the moment, but she didn't allow it..

Kitty

When it started to rain more and more, we finally decided to find shelter in the Okura hotel nearby. I was happy it rained as I took full mis-use of the situation, because we had to share one small umbrella walking to the hotel. She felt uncomfortable as I tried to keep her close to me. Fortunately she didn't have time to get angry, since the Okura was only a few yards away from 'our' precious parkbench.

Inside the Okura hotel was a small Japanese shoppingcentre. Complete with bookstore, supermarket (where you could buy Sesamestreet Cookies and Pokemon Candy), hairdresser and Hello Kitty! Store.

I remember Hello Kitty was popular in the late 70s, early 80s as my sister had a lot of Hello Kitty 'stuff'.

It now seems Hello Kitty is BACK and more popular than ever, with Hello Kitty stores popping up and opening everywhere. My favorite character is the frog:

Keroppi-->

Amelie

So, what about Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Amelie?

Amelie, an innocent and naive girl in Paris, with her own sense of justice, decides to help those around her and along the way, discovers love...

Amelie is looking for love, and perhaps for the meaning of life in general. We see her grow up in an original if slightly dysfunctional family. Now a waitress in central Paris, she interacts curiously with her neighbors and customers, as well as a mysterious Photomaton-image collector and one of his even more mysterious photo subjects. Little by little, Amelie realizes that the way to happiness (and yet more subtle humor) requires here to take her own initiative and reach out to others.

Seeing Amelie, already sparked my sense of action, directness and initiative as I stopped "waiting for wonderful things to happen" but took faith into my own hand to DO, SEIZE, ACT, TAKE, CONTROL.

Kat is a lot like Amelie. Not only in the way they both want to help those around them (whether those are ducks or neighbors), but also in other ways. I -for instance- always have a disposable camera with me, which puts me in close relation to the photo collector in the movie. Yet the most interesting, is the weirdness of Amelie.

Amelie, at age 9, was walking around with a camera when a (traffic) accident occurred. A man, who saw her told her it was her fault, because she was making pictures earlier at the scene of the accident. Years later, Amelie, who almost lives in this parallel universe, completely out of touch with reality, still believes she can influence these things. No one ever told her, nor did she learn, the accident wasn't her fault. So, all grown up, when she sees a planecrash, earthquake and trainaccident on the news -all in one day- she still thinks it -in some way- was her fault: her existence causing the accidents.

<--My deck-of-cards castle in France

Kat has something similar. She explained me, why she doesn't like it when people look her in her eyes. She told me a boy once told her -when she was very little- she had electricity coming out of her eyes. She was convinced by the boy that this could harm people and ever since she has been afraid to look people in the eyes. (and doesn't like it when people try to get eye-contact with her) It's remarkable she STILL believes this to be true!

"Ever looked into somebody's eyes and felt completely connected?

That's were the electricity comes from."

I liked Kat, after the initial blinddate. I liked her a lot. I didn't really know her that well; I might even don't know her that well now. I know I liked her smile, accent, weird character traits (choice of food, reaction to things) , how cute she looked playing pool, clothing-style (all more elaborately discussed in "Blinddates CAN be fun...") Hence, I still use the term "liking her" talking about the blinddate. During the second date, I fell in love with her on that parkbench feeding ducks...