Time Gentlemen, Please


1. Introduction and “Spaceship”

As rulers of the world, our first executive decision turned out to be detrimental to humankind. Dan and I found ourselves in what appeared to be an empty, dreary world, and decided to investigate a warehouse which our evil counterparts had rented out. With Dan's help, we found ourselves in the faux "spaceship" which we explored just a couple weeks ago when all this began.

Other than a nail which was held tight, the only item which seemed to work was the elevator button, which led to a way to get into the "Hidden Room." After I thieved some old school media I found a keypad which revealed the time stick device which got our predecessors in so much trouble in the past. Dan and I decided the best course of action was to travel in time and prevent our first adventure from ever happening.

2. Hitler, the Old Man and the Dungeon

Naturally we buggered up the whole world through time travel. Our arch-nemesis, Hitler, agreed to let us live as long as we were incarcerated, so we found ourselves in a dungeon with an old man named Eckles who was just about to escape but who got executed instead. We didn't want to endure the same fate as Old Man Eckles and so we did the only thing which made sense – escape!

Only we were foiled again by our now-malfunctioning time travel device. To Dan's dismay, I decided on the path of WITS which had done me so well in the past. We spoke to Eckles and, through some ridiculous trivia questions, we convinced him that we were NOT in fact Nazis. Eckles’ cake was a bit too rich for me but with Dan's help I got to the rasp inside. Eckles told us of a brilliant professor who could help us and of the secure location where he hid a map to his home. We retrieved the map and made an extra-long rasp to easily escape the dungeon.

3. Clock Puzzle

We arrived at the professor's house to find it abandoned. We'd have to do some exploring. After thieving everything in sight, Dan and I realized the only way to proceed was to solve the puzzle of the grandfather clock. I figured the time on that clock was significant. I found myself changing every clock in the place to that time ... however, two of the clocks needed extra puzzling to proceed. It was easy enough to replace the minute hand on the wall clock, but the sundial would take some real sleuthing as the bite-y mouse had stolen the part that makes a shadow ... plus there would be no shadow if I didn't get some sun in here! The mouse was protective of his hole, but his weakness was that he was looking for an ... intimate companion. We needed to mimic a live, female mouse in order to get the sundial to match the other clocks.

4. The Professor’s Basement

Through the secret passage we were able to enter the basement, which we imagined was the Professor's workstation. I went about looking for things to thieve, and Dan absolutely HAD to have that broken skateboard. I found a text adventure game on the computer, but after playing with it I realized it was impossible and gave up. I also found a diary on the shelf (I needed help to reach it) and I read the whole thing -- turns out we had to "revive" that robot sitting uselessly on the floor!

5. Back to the Dungeon

Now that we had new tools, we headed back to the dungeon. We were appalled to find out that not only had our poor friend Eckles been killed (again) but our rip in time was now being subject to Nazi experiments! Thinking fast, I found an excuse for our presence and used our new tools to obtain the items we could not reach before. Also the refrigerator held a couple new items for us to use. Physics wasn't working the exact way I expected it would, but I still managed to use magnetism to my advantage.

6. Robot Repair and Reboot

We returned to the basement and, with the help of the diagram, we were able to repair the power generator. (Also, there was something useful on the diagram for me to nab!) I wasn't about to touch those live wires to get juice to the robot, so I suckered Dan into actually recharging the fella. Unfortunately the robot had a systems malfunction. We used the information from the error report and the journal to create a new "boot diskette" on the computer and when we put the diskette in the robot, it started right up.

7. Interlude: Meet PAL, the Robot

It turns out we were something of an inspiration to this robot, who proceeded to show us what he considered to be his useless time machine. I don't know, the fact that it could age or "de-age" an object seemed pretty darn useful to me, but then I am a resourceful man of WITS! I thought for sure that our time stick would be of use to him, but I wouldn't know because we were interrupted by pillaging bad guys. I don't remember too much of — oof.

8. Meet Dan, Adventurer

OHMYGOD Ben has been knocked out and the robot is dead I mean I guess robots can't really be dead but he was shot and now Hitler has got our only way of getting home and clearing this all up and I can't believe we were had by that little twerp but anyway I've got to save Ben what do I DO?! I'm not smart like him at least when it comes to this puzzling kind of stuff and I don't really have much to work with here but that time rip is at least big enough to look through and wow, it's the "spaceship" where we first used the time stick but no time for being amazed, I've got to save my friend! Well okay that robot foot thingy is new, and I bet I could get the wheels off of it but the only thing I can use is that goofy time machine doodad and it's not going to magically make the wheels pop off or something ... I think I'm on the right track, though, that metal looks like it could rust if it got wet and if I made it rust really fast ... yes! Success! Now to fix that skateboard that Ben SWOOOORE we wouldn't need I can safely revive him oh thank god it's all over I'll never ask to be in charge ever again whewwww.

9. Return to the “Spaceship” and Escaping the Basement

I'm so relieved that Dan saved me ... but I'm not about to tell him that, he'll get overconfident and useless then! I'll just start exploring that newly widened rip and see if we can do anything else in the "spaceship." After conquering that fiendish nail with some dinosaur paraphernalia, it turned out there were some useful items lying about. We returned to the basement and inspected the damage done to PAL. If we could plug up his bullet hole and get some oil into him, he'd be back in business! For the time being we just took that puddle of oil and headed back up to the house to leave. Darn! Dino clone guards! I guess the only way to foil him is by making him slip. Simple enough. Now let's go stop Hitler before he messes up the ... oh crap.

10. The Ruins

We headed to the Ruins and saw the foul mess Hitler made. We talked to the woman standing there, Rose, and discovered she's part of the resistance! Score! She'd love us to join the resistance, but we have to prove ourselves worthy in order to learn the password. She tells us about other rebels, including some chap named Frank and some guy who was in a cage in a dungeon and ... oh dear, he must have been the fellow whose arm we cracked off with the diskette. Rose will not give us the secret password unless we finish that guy's task of opening up the robot. She said he kept the code for the robot "on" him. I tried a hunch with the time pod and hey presto! The code! I could use the code directly with the door to make opening it quite a simple feat. Rose looked pleased and gave us the secret pass phrase for the rebellion. We ventured into the giant robot "mech" for a quick look around and thieved the one item we could before heading back out and approaching the dino guarding the rip in time. A quick convo told us this dino had a little problem we could easily fix with a little gift ... and the next dino was even more easily bribed away from his post.

11. The Past

There was not much to do in the past at the moment, but we got some primo items and discovered the dawn of man is basically a horrible high school dance with wallflower nerds and the jocks getting all the girls. That pig looks enticing but will have to wait until we get a way to light up the roast.

12. The Construction Site and The Future

We headed to the construction site, but we couldn't get that useful-looking saw without talking to that guy who is gnawing away at toffee. We won't have much success in talking to him unless we get him to spit that chewy stuff out ... maybe a good scare will do.

We headed through the time rip and ... it's the future! And boy, is it gawdy. We talked to the clown who apparently is out of sex ed balloons. When we offered him "balloons," he was none the wiser and made any shape for us that we want. (Well, almost any shape.) We ventured on down and, talking to the guard, realized that jocks are the dominant group among humankind and will have nothing to do with nerds. That reminded me of the jocks at that caveman dance getting all the girls.

Heading back to the construction site, we now had the means to startle Frank into getting rid of his toffee (thereby gaining another free item). We talked to Frank and told him the rebel password. He was then keen on letting us have his hardware. However the saw is quite old and decrepit. Welp, that's easy enough to fix!

13. Disco Nerds

I went back to the disco cave and realized in order to get a fire going, I needed an accelerant. I had such a thing in my possession but getting the container open was a different story. Fortunately there was something in the cave which resembled the item I needed so I hacked it off ... of course, it was much too fragile to be used. Another easy fix considering cooked pig parts would become hard, all I had to do was advance the part forward to after it was cooked! (Or perhaps petrified …) We could then get at the accelerant and put it on the coals under the pig. Lastly I needed a spark ... or better yet, a lesson from Lord of the Flies. Fortunately the nerd's glasses were made of metal and so nabbing them and lighting the fire was a cinch.

14. Entering Hitler’s Tower

We went back ... to the future (har de har) and talked to the guard who had changed from jock to nerd. We became big ol' bullies and he let us right past. Unfortunately the tower was protected by a passcode, but there was some interesting information on the placard regarding the company that built the security system. We headed back to Eckles to ask him about it but the scientist dino would not let us talk to him. We had to get rid of this dino, who we noticed was disenchanted with all the rock samples he was getting. I figured we had to get him a hardcore, highly evolved sample of biomaterial, and coerce him into opening the fridge (which was not hard). He was rendered useless and we were finally free to talk to Eckles about the tower. He wouldn't help us unless we prevented his death ... fair enough. I found something which would prevent the bullet from piercing him and we were able to secure a "back door" passcode from the now-alive Eckles. We could now defeat Hitler!

16. Hitler's Tower: Levels 1 and 2

We got into the tower using the keypad and were faced with a new puzzle: booby traps. Ugh. Life-threatening stuff is not my favorite kind of puzzle. Regardless, Level 1 was easy enough to pass with the glasses and with Dan's assistance, and I made sure to pick up a piece of dino meat. Level 2 was troublesome. The handprint reader could apparently read DNA, so our dismembered limb was useless ... unless there was no more meat on it. But where to get some of Hitler's DNA? I found some of his blood in a toilet but there were ... OTHER THINGS mixed with the blood that made it quite disgusting. (Shudder.) On the other hand the combo worked like a charm.

17. Hitler’s Tower: Level 3

The placard on this level indicated which phrase we needed to say in Hitler's voice, but how to go about it? Perhaps that stupid little parrot could mimic Hitler so we went back to the prehistoric era to try and nab it. I could barely look at it without it getting all excited, but with the two items from the construction site I was easily able to trap and sequester the nuisance and take it to the Hitler-impersonation robot. I needed Dan's help since the Hitler voice was only audible from the outside.

18. Planet Anubis: Part 1

We decided to explore the "diseased" time rip on Level 3 of Hitler's tower. I couldn't help but think we were stepping into some Rube Goldberg contraption, but I was not disappointed when I viewed the breathtaking alien landscape. There was a man trapped in a pod with a tree blocking the door. This looked ... somehow familiar. I went to work freeing the man by hacking down the tree ... which turned out to be quite frightful. But it worked, and I pried open the door to free the man. Pity he's not the talkative type, but I did get some convo out of him. This world ... is the manifestation of that horrible text adventure game! After checking out ALL of the objects in the area I flew down to the basement and played with the game again.

Suddenly I was able to move the man out of the pod within the text game ... there seemed to be a staircase in the game which did not exist in the alien world. Unfortunately upon further inspection I realized it was some sort of error, but Dan the tech whiz offered to help. I spoke to him about it and he went to cracking the game code. I was then able to to get to the plinth and interact with it (within the text game).

19. Planet Anubis: Part 2, and the Chest in the Hallway

Now that there were new developments on Anubis, I headed back and looked at the monolithic structure which had appeared. There was a crack in the ground — leading to the planet's core — and this was getting in the way of my progress. It might be helpful if I could make some earth-moving reactions. But how? There was one place I hadn't yet cracked: the chest in the hallway. Maybe with my TNT I could open it, with the help of some fire I recently created. Sorry to say the contents of the chest were somewhat disappointing but they could prove to be useful back on Anubis.

Chucking explosives at the planet's core was not as detrimental as Dan thought, and the gentle, steady breeze (and my favorite inventory object) helped get the little door open on the monolith. An extra jolt of explosives was all we needed now to get our hands on that crazy awesome telekinetic crystal, which was all we needed to get past the new fissure. Also, when I showed the crystal to Dan he gave me a very interesting idea for computer programming, but I needed a pen and paper. Paper I had, and that feather might serve as a quill, but there must be SOMETHING around here that I could use for ink. Bingo! Dan helped me out and now I had some beautiful ones and zeroes at my disposal. Except Dan and his silly foresight made me leave the awesome crystal behind.

20. Hitler's Tower: Levels 4 and 5

I finally resumed my climb up Hitler's Tower and reached Level 4. Oh boy, a videogame! I played it, but trouble was there's no way to beat it. Fortunately, the super powers of the crystal from Anubis were now transferable to an electronic format. Perhaps Dan could hack the game for me? Success! Beating the game was quite easy and we could move on to Level 5, by far the most ridiculous level in the tower yet.

The device guarding level 5 was far too dangerous to muck with, so all I could do was thieve the blueprint. I thought maybe our robotic buddy could help us out, so I returned to the basement in order to revive him. I had something I could plug up his bullet hole with but not any oil. Then I remembered that oil is actually REALLY old organic material, and I whipped up some oil with the time pod and revived PAL. He helped us make brand new blueprints ... I thought kittens were the safest bet. I dropped off the blueprints where they could be used to change the future and went back to Level 5. Sadly kittens were NOT a safe bet, but I nabbed a kitty cat and had PAL redo the blueprints to include an exhaust which I could use the kitty to block up. (Poor kitty cat.)

21. Boss Battle

Dan and I bared our souls to each other before we ventured up to Hitler's lair. Egads! Hitler is scarier than ever, especially with those laserbeam eyes!!!! Fortunately wits and cooperation made easy prey of the super villain. We distracted him with a gargoyle imposter, which was perched precariously on a precipice and a puny power would plop it over. If only I could make the bell ring ... presto!

Next, that dinosaur's iron jaw looked useful but I couldn't get it ... perhaps I could utilize Hitler's powers much the way I used them on Level 1 of the tower. Eking over into the line of fire, I harnessed the laser beams and was able to get the jaw. I realized that Dan was the only one who can retrieve the gargoyle, so I sent him the skateboard and he sent it back with a gargantuan present for me. The jaw would be perfect to fix up this thing, but it's not sharp enough ... perhaps I can make it sharper? Voila! I sent it back to Dan who started adding a disguise.

Hitler was still not convinced ... maybe we could get it to SOUND like Dan, too? Bingo, Hitler buys the disguise and starts shooting at it. That laser could start a fire ... so I'll make the statue go out with a bang! We did it!

Quick Walkthrough

Opening Scene

  • Head right to the warehouse and use Dan on one panel and Ben on the other
  • Use the elevator
  • Use the arrow from the elevator to pry open the door
  • Pull off the reel on the machine in the bottom right corner.
  • Use the keypad
  • Use the time stick
  • Prison Scene

    PAL's House

    Time rips

    Hitlers Fortress

    Hitlers Boss fight